- Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
- A man's beloved old convertible was in deplorable shape, but he refused to get rid of it. So when the old junker was stolen from his office parking lot, his family was delighted. Nevertheless, they called the police and filed an insurance claim. Their relief was short-lived, because within an hour an officer was on the phone. "We found the car less than a mile away," he said, trying to keep from laughing. "It had a note on it that read, "Thanks anyway, we'd rather walk."
- JUDGE: "Is there any reason you could not serve as a juror in this case?"
- JUROR: "I don't want to be away from my job for that long."
- JUDGE: "Can't they do without you at work?"
- JUROR: "Yes, but I don't want them to know that."
The American Legion Magazine, March 2010
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