Submitted by CEPTXJ

"Recession is when your neighbor loses his job. Depression is when you lose your job. Recovery is when Obama loses his."

Unknown

Beware the end is at hand!

I am not speaking of the end of the world, but instead the end of the greatest nation ever to exist on the face of the earth. The end of the world we will have to wait and see. The evidence I base this prediction on the following: Commercials on radio and television. I'm guessing that since the inception of these forms of media they have always played to the lowest common denominator. Now days the target is very low, very, very low. If we the United States Citizens are as dumb, and lack the common sense that the government thinks we do we are beyond help.

• The Texas National Resource Commission has a commercial that instructs you on how to care for your carpets. Vacuum frequency, do not pull out attached fibers, and move furniture around to change high traffic areas. (I don't understand the connection between TNRC and our carpets).

• Health and Human Services admonished people to talk to their doctors and ask questions during examinations. Don't just sit and stare.

• The Texas Agriculture Commissioner reminds us that during school months people are fed. Despite welfare, food stamps and food distribution centers hunger has run amuck during summer break. Hunger is everywhere so we have feeding centers in selective schools. Sponsored by the U.S.D.A.-United States Dumb Asses.

• Don't dump your oil (from Vehicle) into storm drains. A single oil change will pollute one million gallons of water. If you water your lawn during the heat of the day, the water will evaporate. Save Texas. Org

• Smart Way Leaf will tell you when purchasing a new car what models are environmentally friendly. Best mileage, fewest emissions etc. You could never figure it out for yourself. Smart Leaf decal will be on the windshield to guide you. Sponsored by the E.P.A.

• Generally speaking it is not a good idea to leave a child under the age of 10 at home alone. (I have heard that before somewhere, wait it was the movie "Home Alone"). C.H.I.P.S. advertisement

• The United States Department of Transportation has a commercial with voices, purported to be that of young children, discussing picking their noses and farting in the back seat of the car. Then they go on to explain to the lowest common denominator how to secure your child's restraint seat. If you can't figure out how to buckle them in how did you figure out how to procreate in the first place? A state worker needs to be assigned to buckle these kids in.

Understand your tax dollars are paying for this. This is what your government thinks about your ability to care for yourself and your family.

A. C. Smithson

Call for help

Today at a Taco Bell restaurant I observed the following, and I'm just not intelligent enough to figure it out. Please help. I saw a young male approximately twenty five years old enter the restaurant ahead of me. His pants were sagging about half way down his butt exposing his underwear. He had a blue handkerchief hanging out of his left rear pocket. While waiting in line behind him I noted that he had two earrings, cone shaped about two inches long. His left eyebrow had a piece of metal in it. He was wearing a baseball cap slightly cocked to the left side with the visor bent in the middle and pointing up. What does it mean. Is this a fashion statement. Does this make him cool. Is this our future where people can't dress themselves and think they are cool? Is it a rebellious act against the older generation? Does the handkerchief in his left rear pocket mean he is gay, a member of a gang, or just cool? When he was younger who could have allowed this? Who is responsible the parents, the school, who? What future contribution can a person like this make? Please Help

A. C. Smithson

Fish Story

Two men are out ice fishing at their favorite spot, sitting quietly and drinking beer. Whispering, so as not to scare the fish, Bob says "I think I'm going to divorce my wife. She hasn't spoken to me in over two months."

Earl continues sipping his beer, then thoughtfully replies, "You'd better think it over, Bob. Women like that are hard to find."

The American Legion Magazine, August 2009 issue.

One of many differences between a Conservative and a Liberal

Off the top of your head you might think a conservative is a racist, sexist, bigoted, homophobe. The liberal is a thoughtless child that simply has feelings about issues but never thinks the issues through. The liberal is a helpless victim of life.

I will explain one significant difference that controls the way they both conduct themselves. Conservatives accept the premise that we as humans lack perfection. We all are fallible and will make mistakes. Since we are human and therefore imperfect we understand not all the answers are known to us. We do not know what is best for everyone else. Conservatives are humbled by this understanding, and for the most part refrain from making judgments of what others should do, or how they should live their lives.

The liberal is an elitist much smarter than anyone else. They are infallible operating almost at a divine level. The liberal knows how you should relate to your environment. They know how you should interact with your ecosystem. They know how to eliminate global warming. They know how to save the planet. They know how you should care for your resources. They know what you should and shouldn't eat. They know what kind of health care you should have. They know how much exercise you need. They know you shouldn't eat hot dogs. They know you shouldn't own a gun. They know you shouldn't drive an SUV. They know what kind of car you should drive. They know what manner of fuel you should utilize in your car. They know you shouldn't acknowledge GOD in public (Christians only). They know you should support single motherhood, homosexuality, and abortion. They know your kids should go to public school (no alternatives) whether they get a quality education or not. They know you pollute the air when you breathe. They know you are destroying the planet when you use plastic bags, plastic water bottles and aluminum cans. They know you are abusive to animals. They know how you should raise your kids. They know what kind of appliances you should have inside your house. They know that socialism is right for you. They know that you do not pay enough taxes (you not just the rich). They know we evolved from pond slime. They know there is no GOD. They know they are superior to you. They know how much you should earn. They know you can't take care of yourself, but the government can. Ultimately they know what kind of light bulb you should use. They know everything!

Take three minutes I bet you can think of twelve more instances in which "Liberals Know Best".

A. C. Smithson

Obama the baseball player

Obama throws a baseball like a girl. He is more of an "athletic supporter" than an athlete.

A. C. Smithson

Obama

How are Obama and GOD the same.

Neither GOD nor Obama have a birth certificate.

unknown

Obama Bumper Stickers

"Obama lied Afghans died"

"Afghanistan is Obama's Vietnam"

(Both borrowed from the loony left.)

Sign seen at recent Tea Party Event.

I'll keep my freedom, my guns and my money. You keep the CHANGE.

A. C. Smithson